12 October 2010

"Would you rather be able to fly or read peoples minds?" is a question I've been asked a few times. Largely years ago when we were younger. It seems to be some sort of 'official' question for that 'would you rather' thing, like it's written in the fucking instruction manual as an example when you buy the game, or available for free as a taster before you buy the thing or whatever. So yeah whatever, because of this state of affairs (why the fuck that question though?) I've been asked this one a lot, way more than totally superior ones. I always say "read people's minds," and whoever asked it always says "what the fuck?"
Every time. I've never even heard of anyone else saying reading people's minds. Everyone wants to fucking fly around like dickheads, apparently that's awesome. Well fucking enjoy flying around then, with the knowledge that I know all about how you used to masturbate to Connie from the aol adverts and how you shit yourself once, even though you were 19 at the time. But yeah, everyone who asks me is blown the fuck away by my answer and has never even heard anyone say anything other than "fly" right away. So it's not even a good fucking question. Why is this the most famous one, the one people ask the most if it's the shittest one? Is it just some secret fruity club that I don't understand where people just bond over some fucking mutual love of flying? Like you're less sad about how you can never do it because you can share this shit with some other asshole who also wants to fly and never will. Cool lives, assholes.

Reading people's minds man, what the fuck! Why would you not want that shit?

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